Life in France: November Update

Here is a quick update on how things are going so far for me in France! I wrote it fast just to get my ideas out there so I didn't check for any spelling or grammar errors. Sorry!

Eating my baguette

Om nom nom 

There are some days . . .

Where I feel lonely and sad. I miss my family. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my friends. Days that I just want to pack up and go home because I forget why I'm really here. Where the constant challenge of having to speak French everywhere I go, all day long, can really be frightening and frustrating!!! Days where I just can't seem to express myself properly. I feel misunderstood.

Days where I feel like I'm not good enough to be a teacher. I think to myself "What are you doing here? Why did you think you could do this?" Days where students just won't listen to me and I secretly want to strangle them for making me repeat myself ten times (which I'm then overcome by guilt for not always giving teachers my full attention when I was in school). 

I could go on and on about how the "bad days" feel. But I'd rather tell you more about what a good day looks like. What it's been like to have those really good days.

Then there are other days . . .

I'm so happy to be living in France. I'm in love with the language, the culture, the people. Days that I'm reminded of why French is my passion and of just how much I love it. Days that I learn new words and recall them later. Days that I can feel my French improving. Days that I can feel how I've changed and grown in just 52 short days. 

When I'm energized and excited and happy to be alive, awake, and at work even when I got very little sleep. Days where it seems like every one wants to talk to me, compliment me, tell me they'd love to try and speak English with me, tell me they want to show me *insert French city here* sometime as they give me their number. Days where I have the best or the funniest conversations with Aurélie or Vincent who give me rides to and from work, with the nice people at lunch who let me sit with them so that I don't have to eat alone, with my colleagues (the other English teachers) who are so much fun to be around, with my students when chatting about America, the day's lesson, or any of the interesting things they always seem to have to say, and with Violette my very awesome French roommate.

Days, like Thursday, when I was so happy and I couldn't hide it. I laughed at everything, excitedly told everyone that I saw "Bonjour" with the biggest smile on my face, and I even stopped in the yarn shop up the street to talk with the little old ladies while they were knitting (that's how you know it was a really good day). I was confident, brave, cheerful, and overall I just felt loved & loving. I wanted everyone to feel as giddy as I felt. I even bought a baguette on the way home. It was fresh and warm and I decided to allow myself to LIVE OUT the happiness of the day and I chewed on the bread as I walked home. I got some very strange looks from people passing by and all I could do was laugh! I laughed so hard about the whole day that I kept laughing all the way up the elevator to my apartment, all the way to my bedroom, and I plopped down on the bed and just continued laughing. Do you see what I mean now? Seriously. AMAZING. Day.

Days like this are when I realize the most that every prayer I prayed the night before and this morning just to have a good day & every prayer that I prayed for this job in France & every prayer that is to come has been recognized and will be recognized by God. He is faithful in His promises to me, I wouldn't be here in France if it wasn't in His plan. I know that He has amazing things for me here and He blesses me every day with something new to thank Him for!